Right now, I'm feeling a little bit like I'm just not supposed to have friends. Every time I plan a day to go see someone, we all end up being sick. Or something else crazy happens like our car breaks down. And I've been feeling like none of my friends make the effort to plan days either. Maybe it's just because I'm a crazy radical now, and nobody likes hanging out with me. Or maybe it's that they all have new friends who are closer, and I'm just a loner. I just haven't made a connection with anyone around me, and I feel a little bit like Matt and Julie are my only friends. I don't know whether it's me-and I'm just not a good friend-or it's the changing we've all done, or it's my crazy ideas about the way the world is, or just the distance. I've really been feeling alone lately though. And it's ok. but it's hard.

ah, the uninformed masses

there is a big problem with the internet. it makes people think they know more than they do.
I've fallen prey to this trap myself. many times. nobody is immune. today though, I came across a great example of this. my friend posted a picture of someone mocking "alternative medicine" because it "doesn't work". this friend likes to be ironic and enjoys making fun of other lifestyles (obviously), but his post wasn't what got me. so many comments on the original post were so full of it that it was honestly laughable. obviously, this goes for both sides of the issue; there were some mainstreamers spewing their word vomit and some hippies spewing theirs, none of them actually knowing what they were talking about, just repeating the garbage they hear from whichever type of media they hear/read/watch/whatever. and there were a few decent comments. people forget though, that this isn't an issue of which works and which doesn't, but when to use which. Both work. Both have been proven. Herbs and homeopathy and chinese medicine and chiropractic/massage therapy all work. They have been used since the beginning of Time to heal the sick and to keep sickness at bay. However, they are often less potent than modern medicine. So when you become sick enough that your good diet and "alternative" medicine are no longer helping, go to the doctor. Use modern medicine. Don't go to the doctor for every cold, every sinus infection, every fever. That's how superbugs are born. That's how we develop resistance to medications. That's how we get more side effects than our bodies can handle and become immunocompromised because we have to be on 15 medications to control the side effects from our original medication. There is a time for everything, and people on both sides of this stupid issue don't realize it.
One person decided he really wanted to show off his idiocy today. He said that most of the pharmaceuticals contain the same components as the herb, so it's exactly the same thing. Oh, how I wish correcting fallacies on the internet actually worked. yes. many pharmaceuticals do contain components that they share with herbs, and that do similar things. But he's forgetting that whenever anything is in its whole form, it is better for us and better absorbed into the system. If you manufacture calcium so it has exactly the same chemical components as it has in food, you will still not reap the benefits you would from actually consuming the food with the calcium in it. Because our bodies were designed to eat whole foods. Not bits and chemicals from within the food. We need the fibers, the proteins, and the sugars within our foods to all act together with the minerals to give us what we need. Yeah, the manufactured stuff will still get into your system and help a little bit. But it won't work with your body the way whole foods (or herbs) will. That's what makes the side effects.
But that's neither here nor there. Because people will believe what they want, regardless of what the research actually says. They will listen to the dogmas of whatever side of any issue they choose to be on. They'll refuse to see the benefits of both sides. because that's how so many of us are. People probably think I'm the same way-especially because most of what I believe is not mainstream, and I defend my choices. But I have researched. I have looked at both sides of most issues, and have reevaluated my stance on several things when I see new information. I have come to the information that I receive with a prayerful heart, looking for answers as to what I should do in my life, and have come to the decision that so far, I'm doing what I need. But no matter what, I'll keep looking for answers and keep searching for truth. I try to avoid using the catchphrases of any group, and I find my own path. and I keep my path to myself. because no matter your intentions, people think any suggestion of a way other than their own is a personal attack. No more comments on controversies. No more trying to educate

On sin and bigotry

The other day, I was called a bigot. Let's define that term. The dictionary says it is "a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion." But apparently, the online community thinks it means "anyone who thinks that Hell is a place and people can go there for sinning/doing things that I think are sins". To give a little background, I was on a parenting forum. Most of the ideas I espouse in my parenting and my lifestyle in general are relatively liberal. Some would even say progressive, though if looked at from the point of view of the history of the Earth, they're all VERY conservative. So most of the people on the forums that I've chosen to associate with are also relatively liberal-in ideas and in politics. The big difference, of course, is that I am religious (not just spiritual) and I believe that there is Truth (not just truth). So, the topic of homosexuality came up. I said basically that I'll teach my kids that we believe that homosexuality is a sin, because we should all teach our children the morality that we believe in, but that there's a big discussion about this that nobody can seem to be civil about. Then ensued one of the biggest name-calling and religion bashing fests I have seen. There were people who said that any god who pays that much attention to the details of his subjects lives is not worth worshiping. There were others who said that anyone who believes that one group of people are going to Hell is a bigot. This is what got me. Because even though I believe homosexuality is a sin, I don't believe that all homosexuals are going to Hell. So, I don't deserve to be called a bigot. I'm not intolerant of homosexuality, and I don't discriminate against homosexuals. I have so many friends and even a few family members who are homosexual, and I love them so much!
This is the discussion that can never truly be had though, because even though it's simple to me, so few would be willing to look at what I'm saying and the tone in which I'm saying it.
Homosexuality (and any fornication)is a sin. So is being quick to anger. So is failing to honor your parents. So is taking the name of the Lord in vain, stealing, coveting, etc. Sins can be repented of. We all have tendencies toward sin. My biggest one is a tendency to anger and impatience, especially with those I love. It is something that I have to repent of every single day, and one I hope to be able to overcome someday. When looked at through the viewpoint that everybody has certain temptations and certain tendencies that they have to repent of and overcome, homosexuality is just another one. It's one that thankfully, I don't really have to deal with. But I have other issues. We all have issues. We shouldn't judge another person because their issues and temptations are different than ours, because it's not our place to judge. But we can teach our children that though they may have those feelings, they're not appropriate and should be repented of. If they choose to make decisions despite what we've taught them, that's fine. It's their life, we have agency for a reason. But I want to know, as a mother, that I have taught my children what I believe is right.

Who knows what's going to happen. Believing in sin is not bigotry. believing that any one group of people is going to Hell despite their own beliefs and actions is. There's a difference. I promise.

Home

Having a house is a big deal. There are so many things that simply living in an autonomous house rather than a complex or condo or apartment or even a basement apartment will make easier and better. Take, for example, Naptime. Caleb sleeps a lot. And it takes a bit for him to wake up. Neighbors screaming in excitement or a tantrum does it though. Every time. We like to keep our window open because of the lovely airflow that allows. Not that having the window closed makes much of a difference in the nose level we hear up here. Our bedroom just happens to be located directly above our front door and the neighbors'. So even with the window closed, we get the pleasure of hearing every conversation, every door opening and closing, every visitor ringing either doorbell or knocking on either door. Of course, every once in a while you hear hilarious things like, awww man, why'd you poop your pants...but those are few and far between.
Another perk of a separate house is that I'll be able to give birth in my home, rather than once again driving twenty minutes to the location at which I'd like my baby to be born. Still have to figure out what's going to happen with the Taylors when my next little one is born. Oh well.
Other advantages-my own backyard, the possibility of a garden as big as I can make it, the capability of my children to pay safely and have fun without leaving my sight, even if I'm inside and they're out, etc.

Ok. I think I'm done with my little rant. I'm incredibly grateful to be living in such a comfortable house, just every once in a while thin walls and no privacy gets the better of me

Landlords

So, I think the most interesting thing about renting is that you always have to make a good impression on your landlords. If they don't like you out you don't clean to their satisfaction, they can kick you out. So, in spite of the fact that we are two families, with two babies living in one house with white walls, floors, and carpets, we are expected to keep the house basically spotless. Of course I'm the one who set the precedent in the current house. Living with the landlord in Hawaii for about a week,  I was able to keep my stuff organized and her stuff clean very well. I was single, leaving most of my stuff in Hawaii over the break so I only had a suitcase and a half, and had a lot of time to burn since many of my friends were already gone for the summer. But, I set the precedent, and therefore caused the expectation. In the last house, the landlords liked me well enough that the mess didn't bother them too much. The house before that, we had a lot more room, no baby, and more time because we were a ten minute walk from school, so keeping things clean was easier. We better get into a house of our own soon, where we can make all the mess we want without negative repercussions from some higher power and clean when we want. Gotta happen before we have many more kids-they are so good at making messes! Anyways. We spent the day cleaning like mad, because the property manager is coming over tomorrow morning. Looks pretty good, except the dishes aren't done...and I will probably end up having to finish them. Lame. Whatever though. But the carpets were getting to the point they were scary.  Cleaned. Stinky stuff? All out of the house. Rabbit, snake, frog, and lizard cages are clean, and the floor in there swept. Julie even did the kitchen floor-looks awesome. Too bad we don't have the motivation to clean like this more. But it definitely takes a toll on the babies-both were exhausted and ready for bed around 7.  So...its a tradeoff, for sure. But I so love having a clean house. My room is the worst thing now. So much laundry to do!

Todays news

Binkies are definitely one of caleb's favorite toys, close behind my phone and the toy piano. The problem is,  he only likes toys when he's in a good mood. Oh well. In other news, black beans score a high rating on the tasty scale, but very low on digestibility. Haha
I've also decided that although school sucks, I have very little reason to complain. My husband could be in the military. He could, like so many others, get deployed to go fight and maybe die in a war that we as a country have no business participating in. These next 9 or so months that we need to finish school ink are nothing compared to the 9 or more months that wives, mothers, and children have to near while their fathers or husbands or sons are off fighting.so I'm grateful to not have that trial at least

School

It's the third day of school. My husband is no longer my husband, first and foremost. He is now a student, bowing to the whims of the bloodthirsty vampire that is the American education system. They suck away all our money through exorbitant prices for books and tuition, not to mention the mandatory health insurance. Then, they suck away all the time we might have had together through working (as much as possible still doesn't cover rent) and homework! I can't even talk to him because I don't want to break his focus and lose his place. And what is it all for? A little piece of paper, and a permanent record that says he took all kinds of classes, spent all his money, and learned what he could have learned better (probably more efficiently too!) Outside of the classroom, inside of a classroom. Not even for a job. He's got one, one that wouldn't require him to finish this craphole they call school. But if he wants to do more, he's gotta do it. It's retarded. This stupid world we live in requires that people, instead of having real experience, go to school and learn in classrooms from people who also generally don't have much real experience. That degree is all important. Ridiculous.